About a decade ago I found Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreement, which resonated deeply with me, and which caused me to examine the various conscious and unconscious agreements that I have made with myself.

This last decade I have come to various crossroads and at each, I have had to decide what agreements am I making with myself, with the universe, with the many and diverse people I encounter.

I have decided on ease and luxury in everything I do, and only doing what makes me happy, and only associating with those people who affirm and support my core values.

For the most part that is how I have always lived, and continue to live, but every so often I stumble and realize that I’ve veered off this path, and I have to stop and redirect myself back on the path, back to the agreements I have made with myself.

I have made the agreement long ago, and I believe in all my many other lives, to see the beauty around me and celebrate that beauty and add to it wherever and whenever I can.

I have made the agreement to have order and peace in my personal space and keep out the gossipy and senseless noise of the outside world — complainers– as much as is possible without being a hermit.

I have made the agreement to be as creative as possible and share my creativity with others and, whenever possible to open doors for others to share and express their creativity through the various arts.

I have made the agreement to travel and see and know more of the world and write and photograph all that I see and share freely.

I agree to my perfect mental, physical and spiritual health and to not covet anyone, or to compare my achievements to anyone else or wish anyone, include known or unknown enemies, any ill-will.

I agree to peace and everyone’s needs being met.  I agree to true freedom and justice for South Carolina, for the USA, Africa, The Caribbean (the entire world and all its people and creatures), to all people of African descent and the historical injustice that has been done, and have gone without apology, or repatriation.

Barbara was a friend and an inspiration to many.

Talk about a big heart.

Talk about unselfish giving.

Talk about a brilliant scholar who had an open door/home policy.

Talk about someone who mentored.

Talk about someone who fought the system, and kept the door open for others to run through.

Talk about someone who was relentless.

She encouraged me to do my doctorate.

She was instrumental in getting my first short story collection, Bake-Face published.

She hosted my book party.

My wedding took place in her backyard.

She hooded me when I got my Ph.D.

She was godmother to my oldest child, Shola.

She hosted parties for all of us.

She wrote me letters of recommendation for jobs and fellowships.

She listened while I talked and heard me.

She asked me to teach her classes when she was going on leave.

She encouraged me to keep writing and not allow the academy to get in the way of my creativity.

She confided in me about her life, growing up in St Thomas.

She said she was going to write a novel and tell it all when she retired.

She helped so many writers, including Toni Morrison, Alice Walker & Audre Lorde, et al, to  make their work canonize in the academy.

She supported numerous students and young critics.

She fought.

She loved.

She wrote and lectured and worked and lectured.

She was the first Black woman to get tenure at UC Berkeley.

She was the first in many regards.

She must be remembered.

She is remembered

She is remembered

with love, with kindness, with praise, with sadness, with hope…

She is remembered.

She is remembered.

1. Barbara Christian was an author and professor of African-American Studies at the University of California, Berkeley. Wikipedia
2. Born: December 12, 1943, Saint Thomas
3. Died: June 25, 2000, Berkeley, California, United States
4. Education: Columbia University
5. Movies: I Shall Not Be Removed: The Life of Marlon Riggs
6. Books: Black Feminist Criticism: Perspectives on Black Women Writers,More

All too often

too many individuals

and circumstances conspire

to let us feel 

inadequate

we apply the senseless language

such as stupid to refer

to ourselves and others

We have accepted

the erronous notion

that there is a

glass ceiling and we cannot

break through

well I’m here to remind

you that that idea

is someone’s made-up trick

to keep you bending down

to keep you in a tight space

The world is large

and despite what you might

be presently experiencing

there is a great deal of wealth

and abundance

you just have to claim your share

you must speak your word

you must affirm

that you deserve

and you must live

from a place of endless supply

You’ve got it

so don’t wait anymore

don’t postpone your dream

any longer

claim it

it’s waiting for you

Put on some eye protector

and shatter than ceiling

(beside it doesn’t really

exist except in your mind

which has given it form and shape).

You’ve got this

the life you have tucked

away

it has sprouted

and its roots are

strong and sure

If you don’t know

you just don’t know

Feel what you feel

Do what’s right

And continue to see and dream

and plan to live your dreams

It might get way better than

you could ever imagine

But it might also stay the same

but feels far better

because you are far better

with what you have

and you are accepting

only the bounty of your life

every child

needs a man

just like you

a man who loves

from the heart

and whose words

are as strong as

as lignum vitae

when necessary

but also soft and nourishing

as sweet ripe sour sop

a man who shows by example

refrains from judgment

but suggests alternatives

a man who listens without interrupting

and teaches what he knows without

bragging or lauding his knowledge

a man who is comfortable in his own skin

and takes his role as guide and protector

as the ultimate act of kindness and respect

a man who isn’t afraid to admit when he’s wrong

always open to learning

loves his children as individuals

and knows they have to walk

in their own shoe

a man who understands

that fatherhood is neither

a paved nor a straight road

that it grows everyone

and his role as father

is to honor the life

he has spawned

every child

deserves a man

just like you

who knows

and lives the first

and last word

of fatherhood

unconditional love

because you’re

always there

regardless

being the example

guiding

cheering

interacting

protecting

being the wall

of safety assurance

for your children

for your family

Happy Father’s Day