Sometimes

after you have done

everything

you know how

after you have explored

multiple angles

and you have not gotten

the results or desire

you sought

then all you can

do is

wait and see

but do this with

expectation

with zooming focus

on what

you want

and deserve

and be prepared

for something

even better

to manifest

This morning on my walk I was so thankful for my body, which I have been blaming for weight gain.

Yet I am very grateful for the health and happiness of my body and for the pleasures I derive from it.

I felt alive, striding, inhaling the fresh, salty air, and experiencing the breeze fanning my body as it sweated.

I wanted to make sure I paid attention to everything, the smallest detail, and give thanks for all.

What are you ignoring in your life?  Often, those little things we think can wait so we ignore, are what can and will make a big difference in our lives.

Have you talked to the birds lately that flit from branch to branch by the tree you sit near?  What about the numerous lizards, flies, mosquitoes?

Are you truly paying attention to your still small voice, to the yearnings of your heart, to what brings your joy?

Are you taking time, daily, to just sit in silence and surrender everything?

Are you laughing each day like a happy child, confident and surrounded by love?

Are you being vigilant that the ideas and thoughts that fill your mind daily are positive, and affirming and can help to move you forward.

What do you gift the world and life daily?

I gift you perfect health, happiness and that all your needs, for your ultimate fulfillment, are met.

Ase.

About a decade ago I found Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreement, which resonated deeply with me, and which caused me to examine the various conscious and unconscious agreements that I have made with myself.

This last decade I have come to various crossroads and at each, I have had to decide what agreements am I making with myself, with the universe, with the many and diverse people I encounter.

I have decided on ease and luxury in everything I do, and only doing what makes me happy, and only associating with those people who affirm and support my core values.

For the most part that is how I have always lived, and continue to live, but every so often I stumble and realize that I’ve veered off this path, and I have to stop and redirect myself back on the path, back to the agreements I have made with myself.

I have made the agreement long ago, and I believe in all my many other lives, to see the beauty around me and celebrate that beauty and add to it wherever and whenever I can.

I have made the agreement to have order and peace in my personal space and keep out the gossipy and senseless noise of the outside world — complainers– as much as is possible without being a hermit.

I have made the agreement to be as creative as possible and share my creativity with others and, whenever possible to open doors for others to share and express their creativity through the various arts.

I have made the agreement to travel and see and know more of the world and write and photograph all that I see and share freely.

I agree to my perfect mental, physical and spiritual health and to not covet anyone, or to compare my achievements to anyone else or wish anyone, include known or unknown enemies, any ill-will.

I agree to peace and everyone’s needs being met.  I agree to true freedom and justice for South Carolina, for the USA, Africa, The Caribbean (the entire world and all its people and creatures), to all people of African descent and the historical injustice that has been done, and have gone without apology, or repatriation.

Barbara was a friend and an inspiration to many.

Talk about a big heart.

Talk about unselfish giving.

Talk about a brilliant scholar who had an open door/home policy.

Talk about someone who mentored.

Talk about someone who fought the system, and kept the door open for others to run through.

Talk about someone who was relentless.

She encouraged me to do my doctorate.

She was instrumental in getting my first short story collection, Bake-Face published.

She hosted my book party.

My wedding took place in her backyard.

She hooded me when I got my Ph.D.

She was godmother to my oldest child, Shola.

She hosted parties for all of us.

She wrote me letters of recommendation for jobs and fellowships.

She listened while I talked and heard me.

She asked me to teach her classes when she was going on leave.

She encouraged me to keep writing and not allow the academy to get in the way of my creativity.

She confided in me about her life, growing up in St Thomas.

She said she was going to write a novel and tell it all when she retired.

She helped so many writers, including Toni Morrison, Alice Walker & Audre Lorde, et al, to  make their work canonize in the academy.

She supported numerous students and young critics.

She fought.

She loved.

She wrote and lectured and worked and lectured.

She was the first Black woman to get tenure at UC Berkeley.

She was the first in many regards.

She must be remembered.

She is remembered

She is remembered

with love, with kindness, with praise, with sadness, with hope…

She is remembered.

She is remembered.

1. Barbara Christian was an author and professor of African-American Studies at the University of California, Berkeley. Wikipedia
2. Born: December 12, 1943, Saint Thomas
3. Died: June 25, 2000, Berkeley, California, United States
4. Education: Columbia University
5. Movies: I Shall Not Be Removed: The Life of Marlon Riggs
6. Books: Black Feminist Criticism: Perspectives on Black Women Writers,More